New Midget Revue

Overhaul needed - and on the way

2011-02-16T10:32:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged in a LOOOOONG time. Mainly because I didn't have much to say or anytime to say it. But with spring arriving, the creative juices will flow again. And the tune of this blog will change ever-so-slightly and feature more business and curent events postings. And music...always music.

Sign of things to come?!

2008-11-05T16:04:00.002-05:00

Well, it's no surprise that on the day we elect Barack Hussein Obama to office, the stock market absolutely tanks! Oh sure, all the liberal news outlets will claim that it's profit-taking from yesterday's rally. But do you really believe that? I think market makers, fund managers and CEO's are shitting their shorts thinking about the upcoming capital gains tax hikes, cuts to corporate tax breaks and impending increases on both income and property taxes.

We. Are. Fucked.

It's so obvious and sad

2008-11-05T09:57:00.006-05:00

Ya know, I'm OK with the fact that Obama won. And I have no real problem with there being a black president. In fact, I'm very happy that I am able to experience this in my lifetime, as I never truly thought it would happen. Yes I voted for McCain, but I knew all along that he didn't stand a chance.

However, I am so sick and tired of black people saying that their decision to vote for Obama had nothing to do with race. Bullshit. It had everything to do with race. And their in-your-face celebrations today prove just that. On the whole, blacks voting for Obama had nothing to do with politics, the economy, whatever. They just wanted a black person in office. Period. And that's OK I suppose. If I were a minority in this country, it would be refreshing to see someone I could identify with culturally running the show. But don't insult my fucking intelligence and say race didn't play a part in your decision as you do a Chad Johnson touchdown dance in the streets of Chicago. If I faced the prospect of getting tax cuts without lifting a finger for the economy I'd be dancing too.

And it is so sad that the only way to get blacks to vote is to get one of their own on the ballot. I hate to sound so damn racist, but this election outcome reeks of reactionary self-interest. Good luck Obama - you got a tough four years ahead of you.

Nobody weird like me

2008-10-30T10:50:00.007-04:00

Politically, I am not represented very well in this country by any party. I fall somewhere within the confines of libertarianism, paleoconservatism, conservative democrats or liberal republicans. I am a constitutionalist first and foremost. I am pro-choice, pro-guns, and pro-freedom of speech. I cannot stomach political correctness. I am for unabashed free trade, however I loathe large corporations like Wal-Mart, McDonalds and General Motors that have made us look like the ugly Americans that we are. I love mom & pop stores, small contractors, start-up tech firms and niche businesses. I am opposed to the war in Iraq, but feel that we've passed the point of no return and must remain there until our job is done - if for nothing else, than to preserve the memory of those who gave their lives for this miserable and misguided cause. I am against giving any money to any country - especially Israel - until we get our own problems fixed. I like small government and small tax bills. I am anti-union to the nth degree (want to know why your taxes are so high in New York and New Jersey? Drive by any state-funded construction project and take a look at who's doing the work there - or lack of work - and you'll see your high taxes being spent). I am for social spending to some degree, but feel welfare reform is way overdue. I don't believe we should privatize Social Security or socialize medicine. I am for controlled immigration, so long as they become citizens and take a basic English skills test in one-year's time. I hate lawyers, especially those who back special-interest groups. I am for alternative energy and 100% for ANY measure that will protect the environment. I am for the death penalty - you sort of have to be if you're pro-choice right? I am against affirmative action. I am for spending money on education though. I definitely don't believe we should "spread the wealth." To that end, I don't give a shit if your house has lost 1/2 its value or you can't pay your mortgage. No one told you to buy a house at the top of the market, and it's not the government's job to bail you out. That said, I don't think we should bail out Wall St. either. Let 'em fail! It'll hurt like hell, but it's the only way to purge the economy of all its ills. Warning, angry tangent approaching: I DESPISE the media and don't trust anything they tell me. And the douchebag liberal Hollywood crowd: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND MAKE MOVIES! WE DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS! Same goes for musicians. Unless your a political band like Anti-Flag, just play your songs and don't use the stage as your own personal soapbox. I love ya Bruce, but I didn't pay $125 to hear your take on politics.

I'm all over the place politically, right? So who do I vote for? Thanks for all the choices America! I don't think this partisan shit works anymore. I read a quote in Newsweek from one undecided voter who said, "it's like choosing between a douchebag and a turd sandwich." I couldn't have said it any better.

Is there a whole population of people out there just like me? Or is there nobody weird like me?

MP3: Nobody Weird Like Me - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Conservative Punk

2008-08-05T11:44:00.002-04:00

If you listen to punk rock, but feel alienated by leftist punk politics, go check out the website http://www.conservativepunk.com/ right now. It's a great site that underscores the belief that punk is not about conforming to the popular view, but accepting ALL views, even conservative ones - a belief that all these poser, johnny-come-lately, snot-nosed, spoiled shits have forgotten or simply disregarded.

Absolutely inspirational...

2008-07-16T15:32:00.003-04:00

I had the president of Harvard University speak at my high school graduation. Don't remember a word of it. But this school gets alumnus Patton Oswalt, who despite being a tad too liberal is quite awesome, to speak. His words and message are nothing short of amazing. Read his speech here.

Cheers!

Musical Cross-References

2008-07-15T18:37:00.002-04:00

I left a comment about this over at Bleedin' Out, but just in case no one sees it, I'm gonna reiterate it here.

One of the great things about being a total music snob is that you pick up on subtle references in songs -- sometimes to other songs, other bands or sometimes complete albums. One of my new favorite bands, The Hold Steady, seems to share this penchant, and constantly name-drops some of my favorite bands, movies, books & songs in their own songs, which makes me dig them all the more. On their song 'Constructive Summer' off their new album Stay Positive, they reference one of my other favorite bands (also from Minnesota), Dillinger Four with these lines:

"Me and my friends are like
'doublewhiskeycokenoice'
we drink along in double time
I drink too much, but we feel fine."

Gotta love that. And at the end of the song, they tip their hat to maybe my all-time favorite band by saying, "Raise a toast to Saint Joe Strummer"...makes me smile every time I hear that.

For fear of fawning at the feet of Mammon

2008-06-26T15:41:00.006-04:00

Cautiously optimistic. That’s the only way to describe how I’m listening to the new radio station in New York - 1019 WRXP. For now, all is well. But is the end just around the corner? We’ll see.

You see, I grew up in New Jersey in the 80’s. It was a glorious time to be a music fan, and it was an era that spawned many a music snob such as myself. Big and small stations alike, radio ruled from 87.5 to 108.0. And it felt like the majors really cared about their listeners. WNEW had awesome live concerts on the King Biscuit Flower Hour, WAPP played OZZY when he wasn't a punch line to a drunken joke. Even the old WPLJ played The Smiths on occasion. Sure, we were inundated with terrible new wave and bloated arena rock on the big New York stations. But we had so many options - we could go elsewhere. We had WFMU, WDRE and WSOU. We had MTV when it actually played music…sometimes even good music. We had the U-68 Power Hour to bang our heads to. Music, and a diversity of music, was everywhere. I went off to college in Washington, DC and WHFS was there waiting for me. I was serenaded with the sounds of Fugazi, Jane’s Addiction, Helmet and then-unheard of bands like 311, Green Day and something called Nirvana.

Then, the mid 90’s arrived, and media empires like Infinity and Clear Channel rose from the Earth like lamb-horned beasts in The Revelation of John and homogenized all of the major radio stations. And the indies soon followed suit. WDRE changed format, and WFMU, while still great, lost consistency and gained obscurity. WSOU still rocked, of course. Darkness fell upon the musical land, and we were forced to listen to hours upon hours of Stone Temple Pilots, Filter, Linkin Park, Creed, and other sorts of regurgitated Seattle Grunge-Meets-Butt Rock-Meets-Shit Metal-Meets-White Boy Rap. I won’t even get into what the Top-40 and Hip-Hop stations were playing as I don’t usually like the taste of my own vomit in my mouth. Yeah, there were glimpses of bright spots, but it was a dark time my friends.

Behold a revolution! Satellite radio seemed to be the answer. Freedom! No pressure from the prehistoric record industry – let ‘em die! No AOR format! Deeper Cuts! Real rock! Real punk! All ska & reggae stations! No commercials! And thank God and the geniuses at Apple for the iPod! And thank you Napster and all the mp3 blogs! Ah, real music was back again! Behold, I could listen to what I wanted to hear, when I wanted to hear it. If I didn’t want to hear a song twice a day, I didn’t have to! Fuck the radio and their heavy rotation of Led Zeppelin. I love LedZep…but it’s flippin 2008, not 1978! Diversity has returned! With new sounds to explore, new frontiers to conquer, I turn a misty, sentimental eye back towards the radio and it’s dusty, archaic dial. Let’s give a listen…

92.3, Opie & Anthony, yes...your music, no. 104.3, sheesh, Aerosmith...really? 105.5, man I hate New Jersey sometimes. Z-100, um what the hell? 95.5, please kill me now. Ugh. They just don’t get it. But wait, what’s this? Some new station calling itself RXP on 101.9. Hey isn't that the old "smooth jazz" station? Let's check the website...hey it's that fat metalhead from MTV. He was OK. Let’s give a listen. Hmmm…Generation X. Haven’t heard them on the radio since I don’t know when, nice. The Duke Spirit…wow, surprising. Black Crowes…ugh, here we go, another record company owned station. But wait, the Pixies?! Awesome! A deep cut by Springsteen from Nebraska?! OK. The Shins? The Clash? Bob Marley? Now I’m diggin’ the variety! Haha…boy the chips are stacked against these guys.

A closer look reveals the fact that the station is owned by Emmis Communications out of Indiana. Seems they own Hot 97 and Kiss FM here in New York as well as a WHOLE BUNCH of other shit around the world. I don't know what their political interests are or how they manage the content of their media outlets, but if they allow their stations to deviate from the standard AOR/CHR format, then they're OK by me.

But like I said, we'll see. For now RXP is the best thing on the air. But that’s not saying much these days. That’s like being the winner of an all-male wet t-shirt contest. But they do have something all the other stations don’t have: Diversity. But that could all change with a little old fashioned bait-n-switch. Remember, when K-Rock went to an all-rock format (again) in 1996, they played the Dead Kennedy’s on the air…the fucking Dead Kennedys! How awesome was that?! Now look at K-Rock. Their idea of cutting edge is the new track from 3 Doors Down.

So please Mr. Smulyan, surprise us all and shun the notion that you're just another evil force in the collective that's out to destroy American Radio. Please tell the major record companies to go pound sand. Please let your DJ's play more Cake and less Coldplay. More Tom Waits and less Tom Petty. More Bad Religion and less Bad Company. For God sakes stop playing shit before your core demographic was born unless it was a band that incited riots or had Iggy Pop, Joe Strummer or Henry Rollins as a lead singer. Guns & Roses was great...we get it. But if we wanted to hear them, we'd tune in to the half-dozen other stations in the NYC area that are playing them RIGHT NOW too. Please remember what it was like to be young. Please save the radio.

The Bouncing Souls said it best, "Gimme something to hold true, gimme something to sing about. Gimme a reason to care, I'll sing along forever. Give it to me straight, touch my heart, I'll sing along forever."

I guess you're #3 George...RIP

2008-06-23T12:06:00.002-04:00

Oh man, I'm still reeling from the death of Tim Russert last week (Buffalo represent) and Bo Diddley the week before that. Now this. Based on the Theory Of Threes, I was wondering who would be the last in the sequence. But God, of all people, why did you have to take Carlin? He was the first stand-up comedian that I ever saw live. Back in maybe 1988 or so, he played at a place called The Aspen, which was basically a banquet hall on Rt. 46 in Parsippany, NJ. Me and my high school buddies piled into our friend's Camaro and went to check it out. We could barely walk when we left from laughing so hard.

It's strange that just last week I was driving in my car and listening to 880 CBS when they announced that George Carlin would be this year's recipient of the Mark Twain Award. I thought to myself, "man, when he goes, that's gonna really be the end of an era." What's stanger still is that I guess George was talking with Jerry Seinfeld just the other day about how he felt safer now that two other famous people had just died...laws of probability being on his side and all. Kind of like how I feel safer getting on a plane after a major plane crash happens...laws of probability being on my side and all.

I wonder how Kevin Smith is feeling today. He loved that guy. And who didn't? Georgie boy...you will be missed.

It's about time...

2008-06-08T16:50:00.003-04:00

Sorry Hil, but nobody really thought you had a chance...even yourself, admit it. Good fight though, and we admire your perseverance even if it was a tad misdirected. But I think Obabma can take it from here. The smartest thing you've said all year was, "The way to continue our fight now to accomplish the goals for which we stand is to take our energy, our passion, our strength and do all we can to help elect Barack Obama."

Now go back to your double duty of ruining New York State and keeping your husband off the housekeeper. Oh yeah, and fire your photographer.

What happened to all the good mp3 bloggers?

2008-06-04T12:36:00.001-04:00

I just noticed that ALL BUT ONE of my mp3 website links are defunct. What the hell happened to 100 Records? Faster Than The World? Dressed For The H Bomb? Blank Crisis? I guess blogging takes up too much time, I for one know that. But don't crap out totally! We need decent mp3 sites out there to explore great music both new and old. Does anyone have any recommendations?!

You hang in there 7-Inch Punk! I know you still have it in your blood.

Hey, hit rewind...

2008-05-02T15:58:00.005-04:00

It seems that in the madness to emulate all that is "80's style" these days, people are now snatching up old copies of cassettes as collectors items or to make retro mix tapes. So being the closet capitalist pig that I am, I dug through my collection and posted a few for sale on eBay. I've just begun to list some of my favorites (Gorilla Biscuits, 7 Seconds, Inside Out, Jawbreaker, DK's, etc.), so if you're interested, check out my little collection here.

Also, can anyone recommend a decent tape deck / software combo to convert cassettes to mp3? I have some real rarities that I'd like to rip and post here for your listening pleasure.

HWM setlist

2008-01-27T11:43:00.001-05:00

Saw the Hot Water Music reunion the other night at Starland Ballroom. In a word...unreal. Honestly, it was the best way to start off the year. Hopefully, Jersey will get other shows like this in 2008. For those of you who are HWM fans, here was the setlist.

A Flight And A Crash

Wayfarer

Paper Thin

Trusty Chords

Jack Of All Trades

Rooftops

Kill The Night

Instrumental

Free Radio Gainesville

All Heads Down

I Was On A Mountain

Moonpies For Misfits

Our Own Way

Swinger

The Sense

Choked And Separated

Better Sense

220 Years

Remedy

Manual

Turnstile

Encore:

Giver

At The End Of A Gun

Old Rules

It's Hard To Know

Just plain shitty

2007-12-12T16:13:00.001-05:00

Not much to post as of late. Is blogging dying or is it just me? A lot of the people I used to read have fallen off the map, and personally, my inspiration level is at an all-time low. Could be that the doldrums of winter have set in. Could be the fact that so much has gone wrong this past year. Could be that I turn on the news and all I hear is bullshit from Iraq, bullshit from the idiots running for president or bullshit from the pop-culture puking Hollywood set. Sigh...don't mind me, I'm just in one of those moods.

Best news to greet me at the conclusion of this crappy year is that Hot Water Music is reuniting and playing two shos at Starland Ballroom. Giddyup!!!

Roll over Hilly Crystal

2007-11-04T16:51:00.004-05:00

Just saw this article that John Varvatos is taking over the old CBGB space. I was just thinking the other day how I'm going to miss that smelly old place, but now...not so much.

By the way, the photo above was taken by me during one of the last CBGB pits at a Circle Jerks reunion show last summer.

Detroit's got nuthin on Serbia

2006-12-07T14:35:00.000-05:00

Riots, terrified onlookers, flares flying through the air. A street in Baghdad? Nah, just another basketball game turned melee. Man, I love this game!

Oh yeah, speaking of Detroit, Ben Wallace is still a very bad man...even if he is wearing a Bulls jersey now. I'm setting the under/over of Ben Wallace blocks this year at 300. Any takers?

To my two loyal readers [revisited]

2006-12-01T12:49:00.000-05:00

I know I've been promising more frequent updates and even some mp3 posts for a long time now. But winter is here, and the days of getting fat, sitting in front of the computer for hours and watching way too much basketball and hockey are upon us. So again, site update and new inspiration coming soon.

Demo-congrats

2006-11-08T12:49:00.000-05:00

OK, congrats to the Dems. Against better judgement and advice, I voted for a lot of you solely out of disgust for the current state of affairs and the present ruling party. Now don't disappoint us. Go out and make some changes. As Eminem so eloquently put it, "You only get one shot." -- don't fuck it up...yo.

Lamenting mischief nights past

2006-10-30T15:23:00.000-05:00

For those of you who aren't bothered by a criminal record, being chaed by police or the fear of reprisal/divorce from your wife, please throw an egg at an authority figure for me tonight. I'll buy the next round of beers.

Oh yeah, and check out With Leather to get a dose of shit-pot stirring commentary on the overexposed, overhyped and overpaid world of sports. Great stuff.

R.I.P. -- 100 Records

2006-10-07T14:55:00.000-04:00

I've been away from blogging so long that I don't qualify as a worthy site anymore. But I needed to return momentarily to mention the fact that one of my all-time favorite sites -- 100 Records -- is being shut down by the powers that be. And of all people, the company that represents the uber-liberal, we're-still-punk-DIY, anti-corporate, we'll never sell-out Beastie Boys. What a laugh. Tesco is the man, and hopefully he'll return to blogging somplace soon. I've never come across a site that fully embodies my own musical tastes. Though we've never met, I think we're brothers from another mother. Good luck in your future endaevors and thanks for all the tunes!

Check out 100 Records and rip some tunes before it's gone forever. And here's one for you my man!

Fuck Authority - Pennywise

A view from the outside

2006-09-08T10:54:00.000-04:00

I have a friend who is presently working for a credit installation in Ukraine. A life-long republican from Massachussets, he wrote to me recently explaining the sentiment towards America over there. Funny that in a country where politicians and government are nothing but formalized crooks who are not to be trusted and from whom nothing should be expected, this is how they view the U.S.

Ukranians are simply amazed by Americans and American politics. They can't believe how naïve we are with our banter about how great the American system is. Furthermore, they are amazed at how our politicians and president feel they have right to tell other countries how to behave, especially when we have Abu Grabi, Guatanamo, wiretapping, ridiculously poor financial management, congressmen being convicted for bribes and campaign violations, and selective intervention in other countries’ internal conflicts. Toss in a pre-emptive invasion of a sovereign nation and the fact that all of our resources and military troops are tied up while the real global threats go unchecked.

His boss, who is evidently the son of a former NATO higher-up (and who is apparently slightly right of Hitler) said, “never in the history of the United States has one administration overseen and been responsible for the loss in prestige and credibility of the United States around the world.” When hardline Republicans make statements like that, and our democratic party still can’t cash in on the opportunity to produce any leadership or alternative, there’s something seriously wrong.

And that's just a viewpoint from Ukraine. Imagine how the rest of the world feels. Flat out -- we are a stubborn and ignorant nation and I'm afraid we're going to reap what we sow.

We need truck restrictions NOW!!!!

2006-08-15T07:17:00.000-04:00

Yet another awful accident that unfortunately backs up my previous argument.

http://www.news12.com/NJ/topstories/article?id=180765

True skacore Jersey style

2006-08-13T12:04:00.000-04:00

Sure, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones coined the phrase "skacore," but were they really? Perhaps more skapunk than hardcore. But The Bosstones (and of course Op Ivy out west) were the originators, so we'll allow it. But if you want to really hear a serious mish-mash or hardcore and ska, you gotta check out FOLLY at once. They will seriously fuck your mind up and add some aggression to those awful pop punk playlists you have on your iPod.

Reduce the number of trucks on NJ roads

2006-08-02T11:13:00.000-04:00

Once again, an accident involving a tractor trailer shut down a major highway in New Jersey. Route 78 express lanes by the Garden State Parkway in Union, were closed since 2:30 am because of a double tractor-trailer accident. Traffic was backed up for over 6 miles. Good times.

There are just WAY too many trucks on our roads and we need to reduce that number dramatically somehow. Granted, I like my goods and services delivered in a timely manner just like the next guy. But the fact remains that accidents involving tractor-trailers account for something like 75% of all road closures and 50% of the deadly accidents in New Jersey. In addition, our roads, highways and turn-of-the-century bridges & tunnels are deteriorating at a more rapid pace because of the weight and size of these vehicles.

But no one is doing anything about it. Politicians are mum, the unions will shut down any talk of reducing capacity and the corporations that get enormous tax breaks for operating in New Jersey surely won’t speak out about the rate at which these monsters roll up and down the Turnpike. What happened to the days when distribution centers were located on RR spur lines? You’d think that with the high price of gas, shipping companies, manufacturers and distributors would be looking to the railroads again as a means to curb rising operating coasts.

But yet almost every day it’s the same thing on News 12, 1010 Wins or Metro T&W 61 – a tractor trailer has overturned, shutting down highway such-and-such or, worse, a family or 6 was killed when a speeding semi jackknifed into a minivan. News flash: I don’t car how macho and immortal you feel in your Hummer H2. You are no match for a 50-ton Peterbilt rumbling towards you at 80 miles an hour.

So what’s the answer? Put restrictions on the hours when they can operate? Create more truck-free roads? Eliminate double tractor-trailers? I say all of the above. What do you think? Now before you answer, do this: Strap your toddler into a car seat, take a drive down Rt. 1&9 today around 5:30 in your gas-guzzling SUV with the “Proud To Be American” flag sticker on the back and pull your alongside a semi doing 70 miles an hour while the driver talks on his cell phone (c’mon, they don’t use CB radios anymore!). Now envision that thing losing control and wiping out you, your kid, an intersection full of cars and spilling fuel and God-knows-what-else all over the road and into the water system. As the news helicopters hover above the grisly accident scene, an aged locomotive towing an empty boxcar pokes along an adjacent set of dilapidated railroad tracks…

More junk for the music junkie

2006-07-29T09:07:00.000-04:00

I don't know how legal this site is, but check out espew for those hard to find mp3 files you're looking for. The site's search engine combs the internet for websites with posted music files. You can search by artist or song title. The result page can be a bit messy and some links are broken, but it's worth it when you can find that tune you've had stuck in your head for three days.

Repressed adolescent or unyielding 30-something?

2006-07-26T13:53:00.000-04:00

So I just spent a weekend with my Jersey Shore cronies -- a bunch of guys and gals all pushing 40. Some are married, some are divorced and some are still single. We have real estate agents, accountants, contractors, and Wall St. analysts. We come from all different walks of life. Some people have been in this circle forever and some we've just met. But one thing we all have in common is an undying urge to have fun, never slow down and never let go of the rope that ties us to our youth. During the course of the weekend we did nothing but eat too much, drink too much, listen to old punk music (converted LP tracks put onto the iPod of course -- c'mon, we're "with it") laugh our asses off, and talk til the wee hours of the morning -- finding validation in our past lives and justification for our present lifestyles.

We all outgrow people throughout our lives, but no matter what you do (or don't do) with your life, it's important to maintain the friendships with people who can understand, sympathize and relate to what makes you the person who you are.

One song that could be the theme for the weekend is by NOFX - a band that sort of writes the permission slip for old crusty punk rockers to be who they are, and on occasion act like they're still teenagers.

Seeing Double At The Triple Rock.mp3

Yet another immigration email chain letter worthy of posting

2006-07-19T18:19:00.000-04:00

I guess by posting this I should first state the following: I welcome any & all immigrants to this country if they are willing to a) work b) learn English c) pay taxes and d) apply for citizenship. That aside, this lady does have a point. Apparently, her letter was written in response to a series of letters to the editor in the Orange County Register. Of course, considering the politics of that newspaper, her letter was never printed.

Dear Editor:

So many letter writers have based their arguments on how this land is made up of immigrants. Ernie Lujan for one, suggests we should tear down the Statue of Liberty because the people now in question aren't being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Island and other ports of entry.

Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to people like Mr. Lujan why today's American is not willing to accept this new kind of immigrant any longer.

Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of Europe to come to the United States, people had to get off a ship and stand in a long line in New York and be documented. Some would even get down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground. They made a pledge to uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times. They made learning English a primary rule in their new American households and some even changed their names to blend in with their new home.

They had waved good bye to their birth place to give their children a new life and did everything in their power to help their children assimilate into one culture. Nothing was handed to them. No free lunches, no welfare, no labor laws to protect them. All they had were the skills and craftsmanship they had brought with them to trade for a future of prosperity.

Most of their children came of age when World War II broke out. My father fought along side men whose parents had come straight over from Germany, Italy, France and Japan. None of these 1st generation Americans ever gave any thought about what country their parents had come from. They were Americans fighting Hitler, Mussolini and the Emperor of Japan.

They were defending the United States of America as one people. When we liberated France, no one in those villages was looking for the French-American or the German American or the Irish American. The people of France saw only Americans. And we carried one flag that represented one country. Not one of those immigrant sons would have thought about picking up another country's flag and waving it to represent who they were. It would have been a disgrace to their parents who had sacrificed so much to be here.

These immigrants truly knew what it meant to be an American. They stirred the melting pot into one red, white and blue bowl. And here we are in 2006 with a new kind of immigrant who wants the same rights and privileges. Only they want to achieve it by playing with a different set of rules, one that includes the entitlement card and a guarantee of being faithful to their mother country. I'm sorry, that's not what being an American is all about.

I believe that the immigrants who landed on Ellis Island in the early 1900's deserve better than that for all the toil, hard work and sacrifice in raising future generations to create a land that has become a beacon for those legally searching for a better life. I think they would be appalled that they are being used as an example by those waving foreign country flags.

And for that suggestion about taking down the Statute of Liberty, it happens to mean a lot to the citizens who are voting on the immigration bill. I wouldn't start talking about dismantling the United States just yet.

Rosemary LaBonte

Is it just me, or is America turning into the dumping ground for the world's undesirable masses? Thoughts? Criticisms?

Happy friggin' birthday to me

2006-07-10T11:57:00.000-04:00

Yup, today's the day I was thrust upon the world. Feelin' good, all things considered. Or as my father always likes to say, "I'm in pretty good shape for the shape I'm in."

35 years comes and goes pretty quick. It's said that the years "feel" like they fly by faster as we get older becasue the span of a year becomes a smaller time frame relative to our time alive. For instance if you are 5 years old, 365 days represents one-fifth of your life. Whereas when you're 40 years old, it's a mere one-fortieth. Get it? Kind of makes sense.

Well, tip one back for me tonight. I'm pretty sure I'll be doing the same. Blowing out the candles and wishing health, happiness and prosperity for all my loved ones...oh yeah, and you too.

FK

Here We Go! Here We Go! Here We Go! (Again)

2006-06-18T22:43:00.000-04:00

OK, the new Bouncing Souls album broke last week. I had to buy it. I've been paying these guys' salray since about 1990 by way of album/tape/CD/t-shirt purchases and countless live shows. I don't mind plunking down my cash for decent punk CDs...even in my mid-thirties and even with the mp3 revolution in full swing. But with the Souls, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop -- always waiting for that one release where I say "Oh, this sucks. They're finished."

Well, thank God, that release never comes. And their new release "The Gold Record" is no exception. In fact, when I scanned the album tracks and saw the song “So Jersey,” I knew I was gonna like this one. As reported over at www.punknews.org,

"Every summer we all do the same scramble, the search for that record that resonates with us for the long hot months of May through August, maybe even early September. You know exactly what kind of record meets the qualifications as “the Summer Record,” one that you and all your friends have, one that you can listen to on any car ride, spent searching for cures of boredom, and all you can do is scream along as Greg Attonito wails out, “we are not alone / in this city that is our home” on the track “Sounds of the City.” So in that respect, the Souls have delivered the perfect summer record"

I couldn't have stated it better. With "The Gold Record," the boys from Basking Ridge have created quite possibly their most musically mature and diverse record to date. This is the summer album of 2006. Go out and get it before the summer is over.

Some songs for your iPod:

The Gold Song
The Pizza Song

28:6:42:12

2006-05-24T12:42:00.000-04:00

If you haven't seen Donnie Darko yet, go rent it at once. I'm slow to the take on most things so I understand if you haven't seen or heard of this movie. Released in 2001, it chronicles the tales of Donnie Darko, a troubled adolescent who receives a disturbing vision that the world will end in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds. Amazing cinematography captures the saga of encountering demented characters (including a 6 foot mutant rabbit) discovering mysterious physical and metaphysical laws and battling powers (including the prospect of time travel) that govern his life. The cast is outstanding, with Mary McDonnell, Drew Barrymore, Patrick Swayze, Noah Wyle... not to mention the truly gifted duo of Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal. But most of all, if you were a child of the 80's, the soundtrack provides the perfect backdrop to the destruction of the universe.

Enjoy these selections from the movie (right click and "save as")

The Killing Moon - Echo And The Bunnymen
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division
Mad World - Gary Jules (Tears For Fears)

Here, have a seat and listen to this

2006-05-19T20:36:00.000-04:00

Hands down the best place to get your obscure music fix is at Puritan Blister. Covers, mash-ups and originals...oh my.

Running from a crime they didn't commit

2006-05-14T13:08:00.000-04:00

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith and the rest of the A-Team blew by me yesterday on the Garden State Parkway. I'm also pretty sure Murdock mooned me as they passed. But when did they add the yellow stripe?

Here I sit, broken-hearted

2006-04-30T14:42:00.000-04:00

Basically, this photo pretty much sums up how this month has been going for me. Business is slow, back is killing me and no one wants to hear me bitch. That's why I've been pretty silent. Media is overkilling every story to the point that I don't even want to discuss current events. Need new books, new music, new clothes, new friends...

Tell me what you're reading, listening to, watching arguing about or eating.

A trip to Mexico

2006-04-11T17:45:00.000-04:00

Dear President Bush:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flagpole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want anycomplaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a job without paying any taxes, and don’t enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Go Colonials!!!!!

2006-03-15T14:01:00.000-05:00

My alma mater, George Washington University, is poised to impress the college basketball world. Despite the naysayers, our so-called weak schedule and the despicable seeding that the NCAA Tournament Commitee handed down to us (how does a 26-2 team get a #8 seed?), GW will dominate. Pops Mensah-Bonsu is back from his injury and we got that dreaded loss out of our system during the A-10 tourney. Oh, it's on!

First victim: UNC -Wilmington. Then it's on to Duke. Speaking of those overrated panty spills, check out this article on their beloved J.J. Redick. Too funny!

Mark my words, and mark your tournament brackets -- don't sleep on GW. If you haven't seen this team play yet, you gotta check 'em out - they'll blow you away.

"Let's go buff let's go blue! Let's go GW!"

Crash

2006-03-06T20:41:00.000-05:00

Leave it to me to watch Crash just after it wins best picture at the Oscars. When the movie first came out I was hesitant to watch it in fear of seeing another "white people are the devil and just don't understand black people" plot twisting type movie. But after viewing it, I stand very corrected. True, the premise isn't new -- in fact it reminded me a lot of Grand Canyon meets American History X. But the complexity of the story, the development of the characters and, yes, the wicked plot twists, made me an instant fan. Terrence Howard is such a powerful newcomer to the screen, Don Cheadle is flat out impressive emotionally and Matt Dillon may have had his best role ever. The cinematography is fantastic and the soundtrack is incredible and manages to mirror the diversity of the movie and its setting -- modern day L.A.

Crash definitely deserved to win best picture. I just regret not seeing it earlier.

Give me the damn pin!

2006-02-08T10:19:00.000-05:00

No one in New Jersey wants the housing bubble to pop more than yours truly. I've always been a late bloomer and that trait has cost me dearly in the hunt for affordable housing. Throughout my twenties, I was active, single and career-oriented. I traveled, ate out a lot, partied and worked hard. I even managed to invest some money. I dated, but never gave much thought to marriage. That all changed when I was 28 and met my soon-to-be wife. Our three year courtship and subsequent wedding was absolutely beautiful and well worth the wait. Almost. You see, what was also transpiring while we were playing disgusting shmoopie poopie lovey dovey games those few years was an equally disgusting run-up in housing prices that would haunt us after the wedding bells stopped ringing.

We're...sigh...renters, and sometimes it looks like we'll hold onto that label for the rest of our lives if we decide to stay in New Jersey. My wife and I both make good salaries, and we rent a nice little house in a great town. Our landlord, bless her soul, has had this house for so long that even at the fair rent she charges us, she's making a killing. But we want to own -- to build equity and build a family. Problem is, even with a 20% down payment on a mortgage, we'd never be able to find something of this size, in this kind of neighborhood for under $2,500 a month -- that's before taxes. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a huge warning sign. When a house will rent for $1,000 less than it would cost to mortgage it on a monthly basis, that's a bubble -- and then some. In fact, that's like a screaming high P/E ratio on a stock.

Lately, there's been a lot of talk of this housing market cooling off, opening the door for first-time buyers to find an affordable home. My concern is that there are so many of us waiting in the wings, that even if prices do sink below a certain level, the immediate demand will drive prices right back up. Yet religiously, we check the real estate listings, go on the GSMLS site and basically keep our fingers crossed that this will all be over soon. And like a lot of people, we keep abreast of this ridiculous housing market by reading a lot of economic and housing websites. Some are good, some not so much. One site in particular that we do like is Northern New Jersey Real Estate Bubble. It's a well-written, optimistic blog that gives us hope (and backs it up with good, relevant economic data) that this market is going to fall, and fall hard. Kudos to you James, and I hope all your predictions come true. On the other hand, one person I'd like to tap in the forehead with a tack hammer is Jim Jubak from MSN Money. In one breath he's claiming that there is no housing bubble and then six months later, well, he's stating that the once non-existent housing bubble is deflating -- but gently. Get your head out of your ass and your hands out of the pockets of the National Association of Realtors.

Prospective sellers listen up: Your real estate agent is not your friend. They are snake oil salesmen and scumbags who will blow smoke up your ass about how impervious the housing market is and how valuable your house is. They will over-inflate the asking price just to up their commission, disregarding the fact that you may be in a hurry to sell. They are in total denial about the idea of there being a housing bubble, and will gloss over any economic data with an anecdote of how the house up the street just sold for twice as much. If you're going to sell, do it on your own. If there's demand, people will come to you, and you'll save the commission. I apologize for my ire, but over the past couple of years I've had to deal with talking to so many of these brainless, greedy, dogmatic, GED-toting, no-skills-for-any-other-job, deceitful, commission whores that it makes me want to rip their toupees and frosted wigs right off their heads and shove them up their money hungry....

{Exhale} Well, I'm going to go have another cup of coffee -- maybe decaf this time -- and read the newspaper. I see that Toll Brothers once again cut its forecast for home sales and home bulider stocks are taking a dive. Speculators are now becoming sellers...did a light just go on at the other end of the tunnel?

I can't help you, but how about I tell you to sod off instead

2006-02-02T13:09:00.000-05:00

I just love opening my email and getting 25 or so solicitations from some foreign minister of an African country giving me the privilege of sending him $500 so that he can send me a percentage of his $2.5 million inheritance. The subject lines are always like, "Urgent Reply Needed", "This Matter Needs (sic) A 100% URGENT ATTENTION ", some foreign crap I can’t read like "Cartões de Amor. Alguém lembou de você!" or some guy’s name like “Titus Gray.”

I also enjoy the supposed Credit Union/S&L emails stating "Update Your Account Details", "Password Needed" or "Update Your Profile."

Who the hell is sending this shit? Furthermore, who the hell is falling for this shit? You know people are though, otherwise they’d stop sending it.

Well, I better go, Serj Takmanian from Downey Savings and Loan has asked that I please update my Downey Savings account. Hey, at least he said “please.”

Interesting point

2006-01-31T19:16:00.000-05:00

Got a chain email forwarded to me by one of my uncles up in Buffalo. I sighed as I opened it, expecting the usual nonsense. But upon reading, it turned out not to be such a crazy point of view after all. Think about it...

A car company can move its factories to Mexico and claim it's a free market. A toy company can out source to a Chinese subcontractor and claim it's a free market. A major bank can incorporate in Bermuda to avoid taxes and claim it's a free market. We can buy HP Printers made in Mexico. We can buy shirts made in Bangladesh. We can purchase almost anything we want from 20 different countries.

BUT, heaven help the elderly who dare to buy their prescription drugs from a Canadian pharmacy. That's called un-American! And you think the pharmaceutical companies don't have a powerful lobby?

Of cousre I couldn't escape the usual "Please forward this to every person you know" trailer on the email. Some things never change.

In defense of blogging

2006-01-15T12:52:00.000-05:00

Over my extended holiday break, I did a little thinking about the reasons behind blogging and the purpose of this blog in particular. Sometimes I review my past rants and opinions and they often seem contrite and assinine. But I refuse to erase them because at the time they seemed important to me. Much like how one would feel embarrased reading their journal from high school or love letters written to an old flame. But I found a great quote in a posting from Barebones Hardcore that helped me tie it all together.

As far as blogging, I think it's great. Perhaps it'll teach Americans how to write, and form a sentence. And I think having an opinion is a very healthy thing and blogging gives people a chance to articulate without impacting much else on someone else's life. - Henry Rollins

Behold...the Buffamullet!

2005-12-19T09:44:00.000-05:00

Once thought to have been hunted to extinction, the Buffamullet was recently spotted in its native habitat of Ralph Wilson Stadium. Look at the dexterity of this mighty creature as it uses its opposable thumbs to text message other Buffamullets for reinforcement!!! Simply amazing.

Test your music knowledge

2005-12-06T09:42:00.000-05:00

Virgin Digital is having a contest that will surely press your knowledge of rock and roll. Go to Virgin Digital and see if you can find the 74 musical references from the clues in the picture. Be ready to waste a colossal amount of time at work with this.

WARNING: Spoiler below!

Here's what I found already -- some of them might be wrong. Feel free to comment with any additions/corrections

Phish, Guns & Roses, Matchbox 20, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, B-52's, Smashing Pumpkins, Garbage, Beach Boys, Radiohead, Black Flag, The Eagles, Sex Pistols, Queen, Blind Melon, The Cranberries, The Eels, Dead Kennedy's, Lemonheads, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Doors, Whitesnake, The Cars, Black Crowes, Ratt, Band of Gypsys, Talking Heads, Yellowman, Hole, Television, The White Stripes, Alice In Chains, The Go-Go's, Blur, Prince, Korn, Jewel, Gorillaz, Spoon, Iron Maiden, The Scorpions, Seal, Cypress Hill, The Police, Nine Inch Nails, U2, The Bee Gees, Green Day, Bush, 50 Cent, Blondie, Kiss, Deep Purple, White Zombie, Dinosaur Jr., The Pixies, Scissor Sisters, Pet Shop Boys, Cake, Madonna

In a nutshell, how I feel about the government

2005-12-05T22:18:00.000-05:00

Hunting is for pussies

2005-12-05T11:24:00.000-05:00

There I said it. Whatcha gonna do about it? And while I'm at it, fuck the NRA too. What the hell is the point to hunting bear in New Jersey? We should be thankful that we even have bear in our state. I mean, if not for the very limited amount of nature in the so-called garden state, what else do we have going for us? Nada. So what if the bears knock over a few garbage cans...are they really that much of a problem? I have a drunk neighbor that stumbles home every night and knocks over garbage cans. Can I shoot him too? Plus, it's our own damn fault that these bears are in our backyards, we keep building more houses on pristine wooded lands! Allowing the bear hunt to continue just gives these douchebag, nuveau-riche redneck, macho wannabes a reason to get their little rocks off. Do us all a favor: go swill one-too-many PBR's down at J.T. McPickleshitter's Pub, get into your truck and drive your drunk ass straight into a tree on your way back to Montague, Pennsyltucky or what ever backwoods shithole you reside in. If you wanna hunt defenseless animals, take it somewhere else fucko.

And as for you bowhunters down at Loantaka, you make me sick. YOU'RE HUNTING IN A COUNTY PARK WHERE CHILDREN ARE PLAYING!! Are you that desperate to kill something? Go kill your parents for raising such a selfish asshole. Or better yet, go enlist in the military and hop the next transport over to Iraq. You say you're helping prevent deer from getting hit by cars?! Uh-uh, you're just helping to flush them out of the woods and onto our roads and highways. I hope you take an arrow in the ass.

But I guess nothing rings in the holiday season like a rotting deer carcass on the hood of your SUV. Blends in so nicely with the wreath on the grill...

Stop the NJ bear hunt

Back and black (or rather, a nice shade of burnt sienna)

2005-12-02T07:55:00.000-05:00

For the handful of people who actually care...I'm back. After several days of sun bathing, gambling and quaffing rum runners by the gallon down in the islands, I'm rested and ready to spout off about all the ridiculous things I've been reflecting on for the past week. My body may have been on vacation, but my mind was still at work. As the saying goes, you can take the man out of New Jersey....

We're #1! We're #1! We're #1!

2005-11-21T14:34:00.000-05:00

Yea Camden! For the second year in a row you guys have been named the nation's most dangerous city. Congratulations, we knew you could do it! Detroit's hockey team may have more Stanley Cup victories than ours, but we've got something way more important to be proud of! Furthermore, having the typically left-of-center CNN call your city "destitute" is an honor all it's own.

Hats off to you and your your liberal, do-nothing city leaders for keeping New Jersey on the map!

Nothing nice to say

2005-11-17T14:21:00.000-05:00

If you're a cynical, bitter, misanthropic aging punk rocker who likes your comics that way too, go check out Nothing Nice To Say for your daily fix of anti-everything comics.

Grant the bitch her wish

2005-11-14T14:04:00.000-05:00

Many a man has said that women will be the death of us. Well, it seems that Al-Qaida agrees. Their latest recruiting classes of would-be suicide bombers have been increasingly loaded with terrorists of the squat-to-pee variety. Apparently though, they're instead simply propagating the stereotype that women can't do the jobs of men. I guess it takes a man's touch to properly arm a self-destructing bomb attached to one's midsection. Several recent video surveillance tapes are showing these women trying to set off bombs, only to be left standing there with a deer-in-the-headlights look on their faces. Is it just bad luck that their plans aren't being seen through to fruition, or are they just not trying hard enough? Maybe it's just gender division. Perhaps the EEOC should step in before Al-Qaida stops hiring women altogether.

I wish the anti-terrorism task forces would stop trying to understand the psyche of female suicide bombers. Countless generations of men have been trying to understand why women do what they do, but to no avail. I say take these "black widow" operatives, give 'em back their little boom booms (properly armed now) and send 'em out to some desert area and let 'em yank the cord. Or let the victims' families do it for them. Otherwise, send 'em down to Gitmo and introduce them to Mr. Cattle Prod.

NPR U kidding me?

2005-11-12T11:15:00.000-05:00

I admit I listen to some NPR, just to get a fair and balanced influx of news into my already taxed brain. On Veteran's Day, a female caller phoned in to state that she would FORBID her three young sons from attending any and all Veteran's Day celebrations because they promote the glorification of war. Furthermore, she stated that, no matter what, war should NEVER be an option.

No matter what? War sucks, yes. Everyone agrees with that. But never an option? What if your three little coddled mama's boys grow up to be...say, journalists. And they're covering a new regime in some far off middle eastern hellhole. They all get kidnapped by extremists, video tapes of their capture are sent to the media outlets and the typical demands are made. You see your pride and joy, your flesh and blood on some grainy video footage with machettes to their throats and tears in their eyes. Whether they make it out of that situation alive or not, do you want to tell me that you'd elect to take the passive non-violent route? Ok, mom.

I seriously think NPR scripts some of these calls just to get the occasional non-NPR listener all riled up. I hope that's the case, because I don't want to be breathing the same air as this dolt. Nor do I want to think that people like that are raising children. There's being a protective, loving mother, and then there's being a moron.

And to address her point that Veteran's Day glorifies war, I...uh...I can't even get my head around that statement. I mean...I'm almost speechless. If it glorifies anything, it glorifies coming home from war...alive! Arrrrggghhh...idiots...taking...over...unnngghh. (Please refer back to the previous paragraph.)

Truly old school

2005-11-11T13:27:00.000-05:00

If you're a byproduct of 1980's punk music like I am and want to hear an awesome and authentic 80's era radio show, you can stream Pat Duncan's show on 91.1 WFMU on your computer. Unfortunately, his show is on at 11pm on Thursday nights, so unless you're unemployed or an insomniac it's hard to hear it live. But his playlists are great and and he's included some really cool vintage stuff (like AOD from 1982).

Check it out at http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/PD. Play it at work full volume and piss off your cubicle neighbors.

T.O. = Totally Overrated

2005-11-09T14:45:00.000-05:00

Not to dive headfirst onto the Terrell Owens Bashing Bandwagon...but I CANNOT F*#KING STAND this guy. Like almost everyone else, I'm so sick of his antics and behavior and he's finally getting what should have come to him years ago. He represents everything that is wrong with sports, free agency, pampered crybaby athletes and big time contracts.

The Philadelphia Eagles organization made the right decision to suspend, and subsequently dismiss Owens. If for some reason they get Jedi mind-tricked by Drew Rosenhaus and welcome him back, I think Donovan McNabb should run every play that sends T.O. across the middle and then float high passes up in the air so he gets drilled in the chops ala the hit that SF safety Mike Rumph laid on him earlier in the season.

Maybe then he'll start giving McNabb some respect...and we'll get to see who the real bitch is.

Well, so much for that

2005-11-09T12:33:00.000-05:00

The libs got what they wanted last night, and the rest of us rational people, laying naked and vulnerable, will get what we feared: a big pole up the ass in the form of higher property taxes, an evermore bloated bureaucracy in Trenton, more political scandal, backroom kickbacks, typical tax and spend policies to fund broken social services programs and just overall greasy politics. Enjoy Corzine folks, and don't come crying back a year from now when you realize you voted in Jim Florio reincarnate. Jeez, I can't even stand to look at a photo of Jon Corzine. He's such a weasely looking little bastard. Kinda reminds me of an ex-girlfriend's deadbeat dad who used money as a token of his love and then made her repay him her college tuition when she dropped below a 2.5 GPA.

High hopes crash the hardest I guess. Keep your head up Jersey, and try to fight the good fight.

NMR backs Doug Forrester

2005-11-08T14:07:00.000-05:00

Historically, I've been close to a straight-line Democratic voter. However, I must align with the right-of-center NJ bloggers and give my support for Republican gubernatorial candidate Doug Forrester. New Jersey politics are in such a state of disarray and need for reform that I can't in clear conscience vote for Jon Corzine - a man whose platform will only worsen the situation in Trenton. While I don't agree with Forrester's past conservative stances on important social issues (stem cell research, abortion, etc.) I feel it's in our best interests as residents of New Jersey to put local issues first (property taxes, education, open space, etc) if we're going to continue living, working and surviving here. Furthermore, as a small business owner I feel that Forrester's agenda of protecting small businesses and enhancing economic stimulation on a local level are imperative.

As of this writing, the nation (and escpecially the GOP) is closely following the tight race in New Jersey. If you're still undecided, learn more about Doug Forrester at www.doug.com. But regardless of who you support, please make sure you get out and vote.

Fried brie anyone?

2005-11-04T14:50:00.000-05:00

Talk about shitting the bed. Don't know whether to weep for or laugh at France. So I'll just make a plea to the U.N.: Send in the Peacekeepers, grab all the Bordeaux wine, camembert cheese and waif-ish French models you can and deliver them at once to the NMR offices for "safe keeping."

[Warning: gratuitous sarcasm to follow] All seems to be under control now though, since a curfew will be instated soon. Good thing, because nothing halts a rioter like disobeying a curfew and having to suffer the consequences of going to bed early and being grounded from PlayStation for a week.

Perhaps Chirac should consult with China on how to handle disorderly students...

Unsaved, and loving it!

2005-11-02T13:12:00.000-05:00

I'm a huge fan of satirical websites, especially when they rub against the grain of the fur of the religious right. Get your heathen ass over to Landover Baptist Church.

I remember Halloween...too

2005-10-31T14:24:00.000-05:00

Damn if I wasn't all ready to post a Misfits-related snipet to mark this Halloween day. Then I stopped by Barebones Hardcore and saw that Ronny beat me to the punch. Well, I guess since the Misfits were from NJ and I'm from NJ, I should be allowed some leeway to post a similar article -- seeing as how he now lives in DC. To his credit though, he is from Lodi (home town of Glenn Danzig), so he's got me beat there.

Anyway, have a safe and happy GHOUL'S NIGHT OUT!

HowWhyAm

2005-10-28T15:53:00.000-04:00

Feeling like the Good Riddance song "Calendar" lately. Just old and jaded. The general malaise of the mid-thirties average guy I suppose.

I'd never thought I'd reach another end
When all I want is to be myself again
So why so soon we were having so much fun
Sometimes I wish I'd never learn to run

Ask me why I'm sad I'll say it's not so bad
I've done too much growing up today
Excuse my bitter half
He's too disturbed to laugh right now
I'll find you when it's done

I wrapped regret around the chance I'd never take
Discarded dreams for too much time awake
Now where did it dissapear to
Youth I fought my way out of
And it feels like I'm running out of time

Have a good weekend folks.

One seal I wouldn't mind seeing clubbed

2005-10-26T12:03:00.000-04:00

Well, seems Dubbya is looking for the little man to vent his frustrations on. This time he singled out my beloved peeps over at The Onion. Hey, Georgie-boy, shouldn't you be concerening yourself with something else right now? Maybe like the 2,000 soldiers that have died in the war that you declared over six months ago?

http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/10/26/odd.onion.reut/index.html

Ah, the good old days!

2005-10-15T17:59:00.000-04:00

When life was simple, the air was cleaner and scientists tested the effects of LSD on gun-toting members of the military. Good times, good times.

Watch the video.

Jersey floods

2005-10-10T14:52:00.000-04:00

Once again, mother nature delivers death, damage and devastation...this time to the Garden State and the rest of the Northeast. Hmmm, no looting or gang violence this time. Any correlation? Methinks so.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9648031/

It's almost that time again

2005-10-04T09:01:00.000-04:00

Yes, the Nets are inevitably moving to Brooklyn. That much I've accepted. But I still love 'em. And the only thing I like more than watching the Nets win is watching the Knicks lose.

Now, Eddy Curry is going to Knicks. My buddy Will, a huge Knicks fan and my most worthy adversary claims this is "A big pickup. 6'11 only 22 years old. We got him for crap -- Tim Thomas, Mike Sweetney, and a non-lottery 1st rounder. I know about his heart condition but if he is fine, its an absolute steal. If he isn't, oh well. Knicks have a lot more size now with Curry, Jerome James, and Channing Frye." Interesting angle. The Knicks and their fans will claim you always take a chance on a young big man. True, but the Bulls already took that chance on Curry as far as I know. He had everything given to him in Chicago and he blew it. The Knick's should learn from someone else's mistakes once in a while.

The Knicks, much like the Republican party, are moronic, short-sighted thinkers. Curry has a life-treatening disease and refuses to take a DNA test to confirm what everyone else knows to be true -- his NBA days are over. But Will and the rest of the desperate, brainwashed Knick fans will herald this as a brilliant move. Just like acquiring Tim Thomas for Keith Van Horn was a brilliant move (not). And drafting that French guy was brilliant (not).

And Mike Sweetney is suddenly crap? I thought Sweetney was the "future" of the Knicks? Who's gonna play PF with Sweetney and Thomas gone? Maurice Taylor? Channing Frye? Jerome James? Good luck. And it should be entertaining watching the Knicks shoot 25% on 30 for 120 every night with Quentin Richardson, J. Crawford and MeBury on the floor. I fully expect a fistfight to breakout between those three over who gets to shoot the ball more.

Knicks fans will have fun watching our "second-rate" team from New Jersey whip their beloved Knicks all season.

Hey, fuck you too!

2005-09-27T12:05:00.000-04:00

So hardcore veterans SLAPSHOT put out a new album recently. Who cares. Well, normally I wouldn't since the lead singer Choke is an over-the-hill, straight-edge bully who has nothing intelligent to say. And apparently, this time around he's outdone himself. There's a song on the new album called "Fuck New York," which is the most moronically insensitive and ill-timed penning I've ever witnessed. And considering that New York has long been a second home to SLAPSHOT and other Boston HC bands (not to mention the birthplace of US punk/hc) it's ironically two-faced and contradictory of Choke to write this song. Here are the lyrics in case you care:

"Start spreading the news, because it's in your face
I guess if you like the smell of piss, it's the perfect place
The city that never sleeps, is the city I wish would die
But two planes later and you're still there, keep looking at the sky
Fuck the Yankees
Fuck the Mets
Fuck the Jets - Fuck New York!
Fuck Giuliani
Fuck Woody Allen
Fuck CBGB's - Fuck New York!
Fuck Seinfeld
Fuck Famous Rays
Fuck Times Square - Fuck New York!
Fuck the Upper West Side
Fuck the Lower East Side
Fuck Broadway - Fuck New York!
Turn on my TV and New York is everywhere
This city filled with shit, it is poisoning the air
Dirty scumbags begging change and litter in the street
The smell of trash, roasted nuts and homeless in the heat
Fuck Central Park
Fuck the port authority
Fuck Grand Central - Fuck New York!
Fuck Soho
Fuck Wall Street
Fuck Battery Park - Fuck New York!
Fuck the Giants
Fuck the Rangers
Fuck Madison Square - Fuck New York!
Fuck Spanish Harlem
Fuck the U.N.
Fuck Greenwich Village - Fuck New York!
Fuck the Brooklyn Bridge
Fuck the Holland Tunnel
Fuck the FDR Drive - Fuck New York!
Fuck the Empire State
Fuck the Chrysler
Fuck Joe Torre - Fuck New York!
Fuck Radio City
Fuck Lincoln Center
Fuck St. Patrick's - Fuck New York!
Fuck Hell's Kitchen
Fuck NYU
Fuck Washington Square - Fuck New York!
Fuck Park Avenue
Fuck MTV
Fuck Madison Ave - Fuck New York!
Fuck Edward Koch
Fuck Andy Warhol
Sex In The City - Fuck New York!
Fuck Staten Island
Fuck Queens
Fuck the Bronx Zoo
Go fuck Brooklyn
And while we're at it, fuck Long Island too!"

So Choke, now that the Red Sox are out of the playoffs, what the hell does Boston have going for it? Sniff...I smell some second-city jealousy. Hope the DMS crew doesn't catch you in NYC anytime soon. And last I checked, Albany was in New York (see flyer).

I will never forget

2005-09-11T11:12:00.000-04:00

Hard to believe it's been four years. Seems like so much longer. Can time really heal all wounds? I think back to that day -- where I was, what I saw, how I felt -- and I don't think so. I, along with so many people in the tri-state area, lost so many friends, loved ones and colleagues. But I think everyone in America lost something else that day...a little bit of innocence. God bless.

Can you hear me NOW?!?!

2005-09-09T16:53:00.000-04:00

Yes, I can hear you. You're the self-absorbed asshole tooling around in your gas-guzzling SUV yapping on the cell phone while shitty rap music blasts from your window. Hang up the phone, drive like you have a destination and roll up your window white boy. I don't want to hear your awful taste in music or your vapid conversation!

Ahhh...thanks, I feel much better now.

I guess I should...

2005-09-08T10:53:00.000-04:00

Every other blogger in North America is putting in their $0.02 about the Hurricane Katrina disaster, so I guess I should chime in. I suppose I've been so mum about it because in all honesty it just plain disgusts me. Not only that, it embarrasses and disturbs me. Deeply. It's the type of thing I wish was just a bad dream that I'd wake up from and tell someone about in a hazy blur. But the truth is, it's real, and happening in America.

I was poking around my fellow Jersey bloggers' sites this morning. While checking out one of my favorites -- Tequila Shots For The Soul -- I felt compelled to leave a comment. I usually like what this gal has to say, and while talking about the issue of blame, she really got me thinking. Why do we have to blame ANYONE? I mean, it's a natural friggin disaster! This kind of shit happens, especially in a coastal region. So go blame God, go blame Mother Nature, go blame Nostradamus. Yes, the response time was inexcusably slow and these public officials are indeed clueless idiots, but c'mon, blame yourself for once. I dislike Bush almost as much as Kanye West, but the guy has a country of 100 million people to run. He can't lay awake at night wondering if a 200 year old levee will hold up in a storm.

These folks had fair warning to leave, they chose not to, and they paid the consequences. The people I do feel absolutely awful about are the sick, the elderly and the disabled who COULDN'T leave. They had no choice. Who's looting for them? Who's fighting for them? What gang is shooting people for them? No one. They died in their hospital beds, in their nursing homes and some in their wheelchairs right out in the fucking street. It's disgraceful.

The other people -- maybe they were poor, or selfish or just plain stupid -- they had the ability to leave. They stayed, and many died. And that is THEIR fault. I dunno, if a class-V hurricane was heading for Jersey, you could bet my broke ass would scrape up a few bucks and hop on the next Greyhound to Indiana.

The racial tensions, the looting and the disgraceful human indignations are all topics for another discussion I personally don't want to get into. But the blame game has to stop.

God bless you NOLA. I hope you find it in your hearts to look within.

New Jersey living will

2005-09-07T10:33:00.000-04:00

In light of the what went on last year with the Terri Schiavo case, here's a sample of the new living will to be instituted in the great state of New Jersey.

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, unequivocally declare that in the event of a catastrophic injury, I do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. I hereby instruct my loved ones and relatives to remove all life-support systems, once it has been determined that my brain is longer functioning in a cognizant realm. However, that judgment should be made only after thorough consultation with medical experts; i.e., individuals who actually have been trained, educated and certified as doctors. Under no circumstances - and I can't state this too strongly - should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.

Furthermore, it is my firm hope that, when the time comes, any discussion about terminating my medical treatment should remain private and confidential. Living in this country and in the State of New Jersey, however, I am acutely aware that the legislative and executive branches of government are fond of meddling in family matters, and have little concern for the privacy and dignity of individuals. Therefore, I wish to make my views on this subject as clear and unambiguous as possible. Recognizing that most politicians are cerebrally challenged themselves (and with no medical excuse), I'll try to keep this simple and to the point.

1. While remaining sensitive to the feelings of loved ones who might cling to hope for my recovery, let me state that if a reasonable amount of time passes -- say, ____ (fill in the blank) months -- and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and/or attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

2. Under no circumstances shall the members of the legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these dickheads mind their own damned business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of New Jerseyans who aren't in a permanent coma.

3. Under no circumstances shall the governor of New Jersey (especially an "acting" governor) butt into my case and order my doctors to put a feeding tube down my throat. I don't care how many fundamentalist whack-o votes he's trying to scrounge, it is my wish that he plays politics with someone else's life and leaves me to die in peace.

4. I couldn't care less if a million religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own damned business, too.

5. It is my heartfelt wish to expire quietly and without a public spectacle. This is obviously impossible once elected officials and Jesse Jackson become involved. So, while recognizing the wrenching emotions that attend the prolonged death of a loved one, I hereby instruct my relatives to settle all disagreements about my care in private.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political circus, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.

Witness my hand this ____ day of _______, 2005.

Signed: ________________________

What's my age again?

2005-09-01T21:47:00.000-04:00

So apparently it's 1983 all over again -- according to CBGB's at least. And the latent teenager inside of me is lacing up his Doc Martens.

Now, I'm not really sure what to make of the myriad reunion benefit shows going on down at 313 Bowery, but Hilly Kristal's club schedule flyer looks like something torn off a subway wall during the Reagan era. Sham 69, Flipper, The Circle Jerks, The Exploited, Conflict, the Dead Boys and others are all doing reunion shows to benefit the threatening (if yet inevitable) closure of the legendary NYC underground music landmark. Even the darlings of Jersey's punk-rock heyday, Adrenalin O.D., are giving it one last shot.

I won't get into the history of the club or the ins-and-outs of their rent situation here, you can read all about it at www.savecbgb.org

What I will tell you is that last week, the Old Guy Punk Crew (OGPC) went to go see the Misfits, which technically wasn't a reunion show since this bastardization of the original band is still touring. Yes, in retrospect, the show was a blatant cashing-in and merchandising ploy thinly disguised as a high-priced benefit show, because most of the people in attendance (myself included) were under the impression that original member Glenn Danzig was going to make an appearance. Much to everyone's disappointment, he didn't show. And while drinking way too many PBRs at the historic bar, I overheard more than one person voicing their dismay at the whole premise of the show, including one outspoken member of the OGPC. From the ridiculous $35 ticket charge to the preposterous "Misfits cover band" on stage -- I endured all the gripes.

Despite the fact that much of what they were saying was true, I gotta admit that I enjoyed the hell out of the show! There was no opening band to suffer through, The Misfits totally rocked, the crowd was well-behaved and since Dez and Robo (formerly of Black Flag) are in the band now, they even ripped into a few old Black Flag songs including "Six Pack" and "Jealous Again." Just being there to witness that made the price of admission well worth it, since (historic note) Black Flag never got to play CB's back in the day. And even if this was a watered down version of the Misfits, their set was like a Misfits' Greatest Hits album. They whipped the crowd into a frenzy and from what I could make out over the blistering volume, they hadn't missed a beat. But alas, it wasn't the real Misfits of the early-80s. But shit, I give 'em credit for still going out there and doing it -- even if they are cashing in on punk rock nostalgia. And after all, in this day and age of music rip-offs, who isn't?

I can't promise you that the line-up of reunion shows will quench your desire to witness one of your favorite punk or hardcore bands from your youth playing live. But if going to CBGB's to see shows as a kid had as big of an impact on your life as it did on mine, you owe it to yourself (and to CBGB's) to get down there and check out some of what they have to offer. It might be your last chance.

Thinking and driving

2005-08-24T11:50:00.000-04:00

I was driving home from AC yesterday, my mind wandering from idea to idea, problem to problem, task to task, when The Atari's version of Don Henley's "Boys Of Summer" came on 106.3. An excellent cover (I especially like how they replaced 'Deadhead sticker' with 'Black Flag sticker'), it got me thinking of all the great "summer songs" from my youth -- songs that either got me pumped up for summer, served as a soundtrack while speeding "down the shore" on the Parkway, reminded me of summer during the cold months or, in this case, got me lamenting about the end of summer and the days of summers past. Some of my favorites:

"Celebrated Summer" - Hüsker Dü
"Just Like Heaven" - The Cure
"Rockaway Beach" - The Ramones
"Summer In The City" - The Lovin' Spoonful
"Beach Song" - The Dead Milkmen
"Catalina" - Descendents
"Blue Monday" - New Order
"In the Summertime" - Mungo Jerry
"So Lonely" - The Police
"Birth Of Words" - The Samples
"I Want Candy" - Bow Wow Wow
"Boys Of Summer" - Don Henley/The Ataris
"I Remember You" - Skid Row (yeah, cheese!)
"Doin' Time" - Sublime
"I Was There" - Pagan Babies
"Thunder Road" - Bruce

Maybe this list will help you rock out the remaining days of summer 2005, or at least think back to a time when life was simpler, summer romances still made our hearts flutter and all that mattered was the music.

File under: Who gives a shit?

2005-08-19T15:47:00.000-04:00

It’s not P. Diddy any more. It’s just Diddy.

Rapper-producer-clothing designer Sean Combs tells us he’s chosen a new name for himself. He says he’s going with just “Diddy” because “the P was getting in between us.” Combs -- or Diddy -- says a lot of his friends in the music business have been calling him Diddy anyway, but his fans didn’t know what to call him.

How about "Asshole?"

Quote of the week

2005-08-17T10:51:00.000-04:00

Provided by my good friend Jen who, other than having moved to Florida, is one of the greatest (and funniest) people on Earth.

"Some people are like Slinkies...they're not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

Wanted: Inspiration and youthful idealism

2005-08-08T11:48:00.000-04:00

I started this blog a few months back when I was feeling chock full of piss and vinegar. The combination of the arrival of spring and a move to a new town sparked a new wave of creativity, ideas, viewpoints and the motivation to put them all on paper. Now that we're mired in the dog days of summer and work is in full swing, all that inspiration has stalled as quickly as it arrived. I don't want to keep spouting off about current events all the time, but I'll have to if I don't get a kick of inspiration in my lazy ass.

Feeling uninspired too? What helps you get re-motivated? Email me at newmidgetrevue@hotmail.com

In the meantime, keep on keepin' on.

FK

Anger means...

2005-08-01T10:21:00.000-04:00

I may be blind in my actions
And have no control of my rage...
I know what my anger means.
-Ignition

Excellent lyrics from a long-forgotten DC band from the halcyon days of the early 90s. Those words epitomize what I am today -- a man of 34 years who sometimes stuggles with boiling and often misdirected anger, resentment and rage. But I know what my anger means.

From the outside, I can sometimes appear as just another bitter and pissed off white guy from the suburbs. An aging skate punk from the 80s who still gets amped when he listens to his old Black Flag albums. An adult on the outside, but still a fucked up kid on the inside. Now, I've never been to a therapist, but I'm pretty sure I can pinpoint the fact that my being "pissed off at the world" (as my father likes to put it) probably stems from being picked on as a kid. Nothing serious really, but enough to leave an impression on me years later.

According to all the internet psychobabble about bullying (likely written by overly-sensitive ex-bully victims who, unlike me, have managed to channel their anger in another direction), being bullied "does not help children to cope better with adult life." No shit. It has quite the opposite effect. Studies suggest that adults who were bullied as children may have problems with self-esteem (yup), feelings of anger and bitterness (got those too), difficulty relating to people (check) and adult depression (sigh...yes). Studies also show that other mental health problems can arise from childhood bullying including schizophrenia, drug and alcohol abuse and suicidal tendencies (great band!). Thankfully, none of those apply to me...as far as I know.

Whatever devastating long term consequences of bullying might have had on me, it's interesting to know that karma has struck an even chord with the bullies that haunted my childhood. I heard one developed testicular cancer and another was hit by a car. I've also seen another one around the town where I grew up -- he's a lovely looking alcoholic. While I don't like to wish harm on people and try not to relish in the misfortune of others, it's nice to imagine that maybe God was picked on as a kid and now has the power to even the score.

So I was bullied as a child, big deal. I had an otherwise great childhood, and I managed to overcome the occasional bullying. I went to a great college, worked for a couple high-profile Wall Street firms for 6 years and recently started my own company. But the anger is still inside of me, laying dormant until something sets it off. When I get betrayed, pushed around or insulted all that shit comes flowing back with the force of a tidal wave. I guess the problem nowadays is I don't have the release outlets I did as a kid. No slamdancing, no skateboarding no wild parties anymore. Life has slowed down, but the gears are still spinning at full speed inside of me.

Well, maybe one day I'll grow out of the role of the "victim". Eh, whatever -- I just needed to get it off my chest because there's been a lot in the news lately about all these kids that are being bullied lashing back. If you can relate, email me at newmidgetrevue@hotmail.com Right now I need to go over to my parents house and see if I can dig my old skateboard out of the basement.

Eminent domain bullshit

2005-07-26T12:08:00.000-04:00

This eminent domain business is getting more and more convoluted and out of hand. Indeed it's a national debate, but right here in New Jersey it's gaining increased vigor. There are several areas (Long Branch in particular) where this usurping of land is a very real possibility. And it's downright fucking scary to be quite frank. Now East Orange is contending with it:

http://www.nj.com/search/index.ssf?/base/news-1/1122353600218090.xml?starledger?ntop&coll=1

How is it in America that the government that we're supposed to trust and obey can take all you've worked for and snatch it out of your hand in the name of capitalism? Where is this written in the Guidebook To The American Dream? "Give us your tired, your weary, your hungry masses. Come buy some land here, build a house, pay your property taxes for 30 years and then surrender your home so we can build another ugly strip mall. We don't care that all your precious memories lie within -- your childrens' first steps, your Christmas mornings, your family dinners. Your house is now deemed an "urban blight" and must be turned over for the better of the community."

I'm calling bullshit on this. People, the world is going fucking crazy and the once pragmatic US of A is now drooling in the corner and babbling to the house plants.

Thank God I still rent.

FK

Worth more than a share of Enron

2005-07-01T00:20:00.000-04:00

One of my new favorite websites to procrastinate the day away at is BlogShares. Pretty cool site. And anyone who knows me knows that I'm an ex-Wall Streeter, so this site certainly appeals to my financially fussy nature. Anyway, please link to me and help my stock value rise. Don't worry, it's perfectly legal <wink, wink>.

A postal worker commits mass murder...and you never heard about it

2005-06-27T12:07:00.000-04:00

In the early autumn months of 1991, the major news publications had more huge international news stories than they could handle: Uzbekistan declared its independence from the collapsing Soviet Union, followed a few days later by the independence of the Baltic States and Tajikstan; IAEA inspectors discovered files on Iraq's hidden nuclear weapons program and a four-day standoff ensued; the Dead Sea Scrolls were made available to the public for the first time; Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide was removed from power; the Croatian Parliament cut all remaining ties with Yugoslavia; and following a bitter confirmation hearing that involved allegations of sexual misconduct, the US Senate voted 52 to 48 to confirm Judge Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court. So it's of little surprise that yet another story of mass murder at the hands of a disgruntled postal worker simply slipped beneath the radar.

I have a personal interest in this story, mainly because the first portion of it took place in my old hometown of Montville, New Jersey. However, I am downright amazed at how little attention the twisted tale of Joseph M. Harris received. Not because of my residential bias, but because the story has all the elements that make it ripe for the picking by any movie studio or publishing house.

In the early morning of October 10, 1991, former U.S. postal worker Joseph M. Harris, dressed in a bullet-proof vest, black military fatigues, combat boots and a black silk ninja-style hood, shot two former co-workers to death at the post office in Ridgewood, New Jersey. The night before, Harris had killed his old supervisor, Carol Ott, with a knife, and shot her fiancee, Cornelius Kasten, at their home in Wayne, NJ. After a four-hour standoff with police at the post office, the 35 year old Navy veteran was arrested. His violent outburst was one of several high-profile attacks by postal workers that resulted in the addition of the phrase "going postal" to the American lexicon.

Harris, who was born in prison and had a lifetime of psychiatric problems, was fired from his job in 1986. Harboring a grudge against his ex-employer, he began to stockpile automatic weapons, grenades, and ninja swords. Two years later, he learned that he had lost as much as $10,000 by investing it with broker Roy Edwards. Dressed in a black ninja costume, Harris entered Edwards' Montville home and handcuffed the family. After sexually assaulting Edwards' wife and two daughters, he dragged Edwards out of his home and shot him to death on the front lawn. Since hundreds of investors had lost money while dealing with Edwards, police never even considered Harris a suspect in his death until after the mass slaying on October 10. Arguing that he was insane, Harris' lawyers said that he had told psychiatrists that he was driven by the "ninja spirit" to commit the crimes. In 1992, Harris was convicted of both the Montville and Ridgewood attacks and was sent to death row. But in September 1996, one night before a New Jersey State Supreme Court battle to overturn its death-penalty law was to start, he died of natural causes.

From 1983 to 1993, there were 11 murderous rampages in U.S. post offices. On August 20, 1986, the worst of these incidents took place in Edmond, Oklahoma. Pat Sherrill, who was about to be fired, killed 14 mail workers, wounded another five, and then shot himself to death as the SWAT team arrived. Still, statistics show that only 17 percent of mass killings occur in public places.

In fact, Joseph Harris, who had trouble sleeping on the night of October 9, 1991, woke before midnight and penned a two page note wherein he referred to the Edmond, Oklahoma deaths and explained his own unfair treatment by the Postal Service. Carol Ott, a supervisor at the Ridgewood, New Jersey post office where Harris worked nights as a clerk, had had a personality conflict with him. Disregarding his twelve years of government service during which he had demonstrated no mental aberrations, she ordered him to take a "fitness for duty" psychological exam with a doctor chosen and paid by the Postal Service. Insulted, he refused to cooperate with the pseudo-psychological ruse and Ms. Ott instituted proceedings that resulted in Harris' dismissal in April 1990. The American Postal Workers Union, AFL-CIO, did not make a reasonable effort to have him reinstated. Armed with a 9 millimeter Uzi handgun, a .22 caliber machine gun with silencer, three hand grenades, some homemade ether bombs, and a samurai sword, he booby trapped the front door of his apartment and drove to the suburban home of Ms. Ott. After forcing entry, he found her clad only in a T-shirt. Swinging his sword in a great arc, he deeply slashed her left shoulder and continued to thrust as she staggered backwards. Stepping over her lifeless, nearly nude body, he crept down the stairs and shot her live-in boyfriend, Cornelius Kasten, Junior, behind the right ear as he sat watching television in the basement.At approximately 2 AM on the morning of October 10, Harris entered the rear of the Ridgewood post office where he shot and killed two mail handlers, Joseph VanderPaauw and Donald Mc Naught. Barricading himself in the basement, he shot at truck driver Marcello Collado who had become suspicious when he arrived at the back dock and found nobody to help him unload his truck. Collado escaped unscathed and drove to the nearest police station. At 2:20 AM Sergeant Robert Kay and Officer Peter Tuchol attempted to enter the post office but were forced to retreat and await assistance when Harris lobbed an explosive device at them.The Bergen County SWAT team surrounded the building and attempted to telephone Harris. Refusing to answer, he kept the SWAT team at bay until 6:30 AM when he surrendered to a police negotiator. At 7 AM the police removed a bomb made from automotive starting fluid from Harris' apartment door and the note detailing his grievances was found inside.The Postal Service refused to give details of Joseph Harris' personnel file to reporters and a sign posted in the lobby of the post office ordered patrons ". . . do not ask the workers any questions regarding events of yesterday." Social workers and psychologists were brought in to instruct employees in how to deal with the experience and to shield them from inquiries from the press.The Postal Service's business-as-usual, blame-it-on-a-psycho-vet, keep-a-lid-on-it, non-cooperation strategy was not without success. Only one major American newspaper picked up the story, despite its intriguing overtones and it curiously failed to spark the interest of editors on a day when the headlines concerned the nomination of Judge Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court. Subsequently, it received little national coverage from weekly news magazines (influenced undoubtedly to no small degree by the fact that periodicals depend upon the issuance of a second class mailing permit from the Postal Service for distribution to their subscribers).On the same day that Harris took the law into his own hands to redress his grievances in Ridgewood, New Jersey, Senator Carl Levin of Michigan met with Postmaster General Anthony M. Frank to discuss an unusually large number of complaints by employees and customers about the suburban Detroit, Royal Oak post office. "The Postal Service . . . acknowledged management problems in the Royal Oak operation," Senator Levin later stated. He was promised a prompt investigation by the Postmaster Gerneral.

I have lifted a lot of this text from a couple website forums and I look to edit, add and delete much of it in an effort to write a shot book on the subject. If anyone has any further information on this story or would like to share thoughts, photos, news leads or ideas on it, please email me at NewMidgetRevue@hotmail.com

What's in a name?

2005-06-15T15:16:00.000-04:00

So I've gotten a few emails regarding the name of the site. Seems some people laugh, some don't and some just furrow their brow in utter confusion. Well, no big story here folks -- and certainly no disrespect meant to those of the vertically-challenged sort who walk among us. Simply put, New Midget Revue was the band that never was. A name, an email address, some songs in the works but it never happened for a number of different reasons, the least of which being that the band name was kinda weird. And yes, it was a take off on the New Zoo Revue -- a childrens' show from way back when.

Now we can all sleep better.

FK (not a midget)

Wilkommen!

2005-06-01T11:37:00.000-04:00

This will be the future site of my ridiculous rants, political diatribes, odd stories and even the occasional article. Oh and I'll vent...boy will I vent.

Want to vent too? Email me at NewMidgetRevue@hotmail.com